Getting the Ball Rolling

I like to think that I am of at least "above average" aptitude in the art of small talk. Old people love chatting with me because I check the weather compulsively. Young kids are amazed by my knowledge of cool things like silly bands and Selena Gomez. And let me tell you, I'm really good with parents. So when my mom invited me to a work get-together this evening I did a quick run-down of the ten day forecast, checked my teeth for food and got ready to get down to business.

However, the pressure was on when my mom told me I was invited to this impromptu dinner party as a "missing link". Her coworker was feting a 19 year old Indian boy from Bombay and knew nothing about him besides his name. Scratch that actually, because she thought his name was "Boutique" (it wasn't). I, however, was young and "knew Indian people". So this is how it went:

"Boutique" and two of his friends from India arrived and sat on a couch across from me so that I could discuss Indian things. We covered:

• the four hindi words I know
• arranged marriages
• henna tattoos
• real tattoos
• ways to cure the common cold
• where Bombay is:

 

Then the well ran dry...The boys politely complimented how much I knew about their culture and then picked up some magazines and quietly began reading. Alas! All eyes were on me and I was failing!

But then we struck gold: facebook. We exchanged contact info, looked at funny pictures, and then posed together for a series of photos that I presume will be posted and tagged post-haste. By the end of the night they even offered me a place to stay in Bombay. Although I did have to fall back on the weather once or twice ("Oh its warmer in India? That's SO fascinating!"), I think I learned an important lesson: everyone loves facebook. When in doubt, become fb friends and then maybe one day you'll reach real-life friend status (this can only come after careful photo analysis of your profile pics)